appropriate beauty

for what happened a few hours ago...

I love this song, anyway.

It's so beautiful.

She's so beautiful.

Her voice is so beautiful.

I could never compare.

But, please, enjoy, as she express what my own words cannot and what my mind refuses to admit.

thanksgiving

wasn't like what I'm used to.

I wish I was back in Wilmington for this.

Although, if I was, I would not have gotten my bike for Christmas!

(Not now, anyway!)

Other than that, there is not much else to say.

My life is clearly uneventful at the moment.

Just thought I'd let my readers know that I am in fact alive.

Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving!

The IronBowl is tomorrow; I'll be staying in with dad to watch it on TV.

then, maybe I can get to the mall or something... Or, drive, perhaps!?

study abroad

THE MOST AMAZING OPPORTUNITY HAS FALLEN INTO MY HANDS

(Or should I say email...?)

I have the opportunity to Study Abroad to survey literature produced in the world after the Enlightenment through the present day, with a special focus on William Blake. While in Wellington, the program will make use of the Alexander Turnbull Library’s extensive William Blake collection. Students will read The Norton Anthology of Western Literature Volume 2 AND Blake’s Poetry and Designs FOR 3 WEEKS IN NEW ZEALAND!!!

I got an email from my ENGLISH ADVISOR, THE AMAZING RYAN BROWNE:

If you desire English/Blount/Journalism/Creative Writing or Honors credit is the University of Alabama’s summer program to New Zealand, from June 7 -June 29 2011. Students will spend most of their time in Christchurch, the South Island's largest city, which is located at the edge of the South Pacific ocean and is a mere 30 miles from the Southern Alps. The program will also spend five days in Wellington, New Zealand's lively capital city and home to Peter Jackson's film studios. Students will also have opportunities to travel throughout the South and lower North Islands.

I'm going to continue adding to this post as I gather information.

I might attempt to start a fundraiser somehow, as well as apply for some kind of financial aid [If my GI Bill doesn't cover "study abroad" programs]

WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just a dream

I need to keep reminding myself.

That's all it will ever be.

But, can it come true?

It would mean the world to me.

You mean the world to me.

m/b

You either

Make me

Or

Break me.

But either way,

You're a part of me.

Lately...

You've been breaking

My heart, my soul, my being.

I need you to make me

For once.

Like you used to.

I want you to

Want to work this

Out between us.

It's a two way street,

Buck-O.

Speaking of which,

My mind is constantly on it.

Should I stay?

Should I go?

Should I wait?

Should I say no?

I trust you.

And I understand

Why you can't

Reciprocate that to me.

But please, just know

That everything I've told you

Recently is whole heartedly true.

hp and turkey

EVERYONE, literally, is talking about Harry Potter.

I just don't want to hear anything about it until I see it, too.

I'm finishing the book, and then Dad and I are seeing it this week.

Thanksgiving is in like... 6 days!

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT!

it can't get any better than this!

Christina, Cher, Cam Gigandet, Stanley Tucci!!!

singularity

You were the best of times.
What happened to us?
I still love you, more than anything.
I still want you.
Why does no one else see what we have?
Why is it so wrong to love?
Is it so wrong to wait?
We may have hurt each other in the past,
But it seems we're the only ones who can forgive.
I'm going standing up for us...
Even if I'm the only one.
Even if there isn't an us.

Everything I thought I lost returned.

Is this too good to be true?

I left you, left you, left you burned.

But, now, I know I need you.

Can I be your persuasion?

Can I be your need?

Can I be your temptation?

Can I follow your lead?

Every day with your absence

Is like a dream, a nightmare.

With out you, I become tense

I can't breathe; I'm gasping for air.

I've known it from the beginning,

Though I wasn't expecting this.

You are here for my living

But now... we've both lost bliss.

I believe if we find each other,

Discover the other again,

We could be eternal lovers

Forever, until the end.

New promises created.

New bonds will be formed.

Our wounds shall be treated

From every penetrating thorn.

Apologies accepted.

Forgiveness runs its course.

I'll no longer be rejected.

Love will be our source.

More than anything else,

It is only you that I want.

College can meet the Devil in Hell.

Please, don't let this be just a taunt.

You wrote me this once to prove where you stand.

I fell in love with you, in love with you even more.

"My heart, it pounds in the palm of your hand."

And to this day, that line I still adore.

I have one last thing to say

Just for your ears to hear.

I'm still in love with you, baby,

With all of my heart, my dear.

you

You
You give me all I need
With no jealousy or greed
You let me be myself

...You
You don't ask for very much
Electicity when we touch
Don't need no fame or wealth

And I will try
To be the one you hoped for
To open all the doors
To flood my life with you
And if you cry
Just look into my eyes
I'm sure you will realize
I'm so in love with you

You
You have all my respect
I never will neglect
Just who you need to be

You
You fill me full of hope
Tossed a drowning man a rope
But still you set me free

And I will try
To be the one you hoped for
To open all the doors
To flood my life with you
And if you cry
Just look into my eyes
I'm sure you will realize
I'm so in love with you

repercussions of collisions

My only wish today

Was to speak with you.

It happened so

Out of the blue.

Cave I have you?

Is it my turn yet?

Is it my turn again?

Seconds equal days.

Days equal years.

It's winter now.

Two seasons.

Two seasons

And I have

Tried to learn

How to deal

With your absence.

With your evaporation.

Winter brings its

Cold sickness.

Everyday, my heart

Beats harder to

Maintain my body

Heat, although I

Know it still beats

For

You.

It has for almost a year.

Winter brings rain.

Rain brings puddles.

I sit with

Black Warrior and

Confess

My

Love.

The wind blows continuously,

Sending shivers throughout

My coated body.

My hand freezes to my pen

That documents my thoughts.

Hopes.

Wishes.

Dreams.

Prayers.

I scream your name aloud.

Alone.

And you never hear,

Never listen.

You're too far gone.

I'm losing you.

I've lost you.

It's almost gotten

To the point where

I don't want to live.

I don't want to live.

I know this thought

Is one of few that I
Will not, nor cannot,

Act upon, but that

Does not mean that it is not there.

Seems similar to my

Love for you.

My feet

Dangle from the seat,

In which I sit,

Skimming the puddle beneath me.

Gas lamps light the area

Surrounding us, all the while

Permitting me to transfer

Ideas to ink.

I am a tree;

Memories are leaves.

Leaves break away from trees.

They turn and flutter in the wind

As the gravitational pull lures them to the ground.

More and more occurrence.

Faster and faster pulled.

They fade away

From where they came from.

Eventually, a tree

Becomes

Bare

And

So

Will

Be

I.

Our memories have kept me going

But as the leaves fall,

My drive and will to try

Dies.

I've attempted

Letting go.

Moving on.

Flying free.

But both of us know it is

Not what I want.

Nor you.

If it ever seems like

I've forgotten you,

Written you off,

Lost everything I've felt for you...

I know for a fact

That

The moment I see you face

Again, It will all flood back

And it will

be me, standing

There

In awe,

Taking it all in,

Like watching a

Film rewind from

End to beginning.

Leaves will ascend back to the trees

Such as the ascension of memories to me.

And they will exist.

Like I.

Like you.

Like us.

Together.

As we were

A year ago.

I may act

As I move on

And try to live my life,

Without you,

Waiting.

But my love for you

Will

Never

Cease.

In the mean time,

I want a relationship.

I want someone.

I want love.

I do not know if it is

You or someone else.

Since our separation,

Dreams startle me.

Am I wet from the weather?

No.

Like rain pouring from the sky,

Tears descend from

My red swollen eyes.

It's nothing makeup and

A fake smile can't fix.

As I write about us tonight,

Cars crash in front of me.

Police and paramedics flood

The intersection.

The air suddenly becomes colder.

My breaths become deeper.

My heart beat increases.

My hand flies across the page.

Raindrops splash

Upon my notebook.

Sirens ring.

Cars speed.

Everything is

Whirring by.

Humming.

Rushing

Rushing.

Rushing!

Booming!

Flashing!

And then...

Everything bustling

Around me

Abruptly clicks into slow motion.

Silence overwhelms the situation.

Eventually everything

Halts.

Freezes.

Pauses.

In mid air.

I know what I

Read in Dan's words

Today, but I just

Couldn't leave.

Couldn't stop.

Everything I've

Had to say,

Needed to day,

Wanted to say

Desperately called

For an outlet instead.

Just like the question

You asked me,

You are the reason I write.

Without you,

My words,

And thoughts,

Would be

Meaningless.

Powerless.

Deflated.

Even in your

Inexistence in my life,

You still ignite my

Soul. You

Ignite my passion for

Writing.

I know I do the same for you.

Please; Write me something

With beauty.

With love.

Like you used to.

Just to reassure me

And my mind

That it isn't just

Me, myself, and I

Thinking this way.

I walk across

This campus, daily,

With nothing.

You can't leave

Me waiting all alone.

I need you.

I want you.

I love you.

I'm screaming out for you.

I'm reaching out for you.

But you

Don't hear.

Don't listen.

Or don't care.

This depresses me.

Don't allow

Our death now.

You were like home to me.

The number of falling

Leaves increase, carrying

Memories

With them

Without me.

In the blink of an eye,

In the beat of a heart,

I

Become

Invisible.

that four letter word

I wish I could say "I love you" again.

With such a deeper meaning than what is applied by the world.

I wish I had someone.

Here.

To teach me.

To show me.

To love me...

Like this:

christmas is closer

with each passing day!

I swear, I've downloaded almost 100 Christmas songs today!

I am just soooooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)))
I can't even begin to express my enthusiasm on here.

early bedtimes

are always good for college students.

I think I like this better than my transitioning nocturnal schedule.

I'm definitely gonna catch Z's earlier more often.

This is the first time that I am going to sleep before 10 PM in like.. weeks.

I just hope tomorrow goes well.

glee christmas 2010!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE EPISODE AND THE FULL SONGS!!!!!!!!!

CHRISTMAS JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER!

nostalgic holidays

Christmas does that to me.

Especially now... since I'm not at home.

I just want everything to be right again.

I want everything to be in place, like it was, like I was.

Nothing's the same anymore.

Nostalgia and loneliness take over me.

I just can't wait to get back.

I can't wait to see people... People I know and love.

I can't wait for Christmas.

I'll be home.

I'll be home.

I'll be home!

30 days.

30 days.

30 days!

And Christmas Day is in 47!

This just excites me!

Although, in the meantime... I'll still be nostalgic.

Holiday music... Push me through.

Family and love are the best gifts.

And I can't wait to be around both again.

a barrel of monkeys

THIS IS SO COOL; I LOOOOVE IT!

Pretty cool little names you would never think of.

Maybe use for Jeopardy or Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?!

San Diego Zoo: Animal group names

passionate bibliophile

I just spent 8 hours straight on this essay for my English class.

It is a visual evaluation critique paper.

My topic?

Books.

I'm just praaaaaaaaying that Abe will let me keep this topic to turn in for my final draft.

If not, I'll just pick a book and change some words around. Teehee!

But the funny thing is?

I wouldn't have been able to really write it if I didn't type it in my blog.

Here's what happened.

I was starving when I woke up from my nap... so my roommate and I went to dinner and checked my mailbox. We got back to the room at like 11 PM and my roommate turned on a movie on HBO. Midnight struck, the movie ended, and I realized that I needed to get my paper composed. But I really didn't want to sit on Microsoft word and type it. So then I thought... Hmm... Maybe if I act like I'm typing it as a blog post I will get it done. So I grabbed my noted for this kind of essay and began this mo-fo.

Like, I sat here for 8 hours typing my essay into the "New Post" box and I went straight through.

Sure, I had to get info for the origin paragraph and make sure I was using the dashes (hopefully) correctly. But, then I thought to myself... this is a pretty kick-ass paper for writing it in 7 hours from 12 AM to 8 AM. Plus, this turned out to be about 3 and a half pages long as Times New Roman 12pt font double spaced.

I was pretty damn excited!

So, seeing how awesome this paper sounds to me, I'm going to keep it in my blog and let you fellow followers and bloggers read it. Tell me what you think if you wish. (I'd appreciate it if you did!)

Books are mysterious things. Most people judge them by not personally indulging the inside content, disapproval of the title, discontentment of cover presentation, or just by what they have heard other people say about them. In reality, books can teach people - and touch people - with their beauty and wisdom. Books are very unique items, as they can provide people with simulations for situations inexperienced. Authors that provide this effect properly create relatable characters. Because of this personal connection between readers, fictitious characters, and biographical, historical figures, books can open people's eyes and make them see their present lives and environment, or how everything has evolved from the past. I know that books have changed me, taught me, and made me who I am today. Books can not only change lives, but they can just as well change the world.

I have been enjoying books since before I was two. My mom or dad would place me in the play pen and hand me one of the many cardboard children's books I owned. All I would do was look at the pictures and turn each thick page with fascination. Sometimes, my parents would try to play a joke on me by retrieving the book from my little fingers, turning it upside down, and placing it back into my hands. Little me would know the difference instantly, turn the book right side up, and look through it again. I had taught myself how to read by my second birthday and was reading the words clearly out loud. One day, a few years later, I was in my preschool class and was reading a book from the classroom to some friends sitting around me. My preschool teacher was curious as to if I just knew the story well, or if I was actually reading the words. She gave me another book to read, and I read that one out loud as well. Impressed, she informed my parents of this event and I have been adding books to my personal library ever since. In addition to my increasing bookcase, I obtained a knack for words and spelling. I was even one of the top spellers in my fifth grade class. This was caused by my elementary self becoming a bibliophile. Aside from spelling, I was engrossed in every story when my teacher would include a relaxing reading time after recess. My imagination went wild and created images for every character and I felt like I was actually in the tale myself, and that feeling compelled me. I know that if I ever choose to write a novel during my life, I will, to my strongest ability, recreate that same feeling to my readers. I still enjoy books and everything they can bring to a person; child or adult, young or old.

The origin of writing developed between seventh millennium BC and fourth millennium BC through pictographs. Stones are technically the one of the oldest mediums of writing, and wood would be the first to be labeled as a book. Silk - along with bone, brass, pottery, and shell - was used in China as a base for writing, which was done with brushes. Books were originally made to conserve historical records. Clay tablets emerged in third millennium BC in Mesopotamia. Papyrus came into play during the First Dynasty, although the first evidence of such use was found dated during the Fifth Dynasty. Bird feathers were used for writing. Papyrus, in Egyptian book form, was several scrolls pasted together to display one long image or story. Paper was invented by China around first century AD. The Romans had wood tablets that they waxed - which made their writing erasable when they wrote with a stylus that had a pointed end and a spherical end. These were used for daily purposes, such as teaching children how to write, notes, or accounting. Paper was created originally for wrapping and padding in China. It later became a medium for writing during third century AD. By the end of the fourth century, books became a collection of sheets attached in some fashion at the back. The printing press was then invented by Johannes Gutenberg in 1440 - which helped industrialize books and their publication. The steam printing press rapidly increased the number of books produced and the prices dropped drastically. Typewriters and desktop publishing made lives simpler by permitting people to print their own documents, using staplers to bind them together. The 1990's produced the internet, which, sadly, decreased book production and distribution. Upgrades continually increased the popularity of this new creation. Recently, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and Sony have each developed their own version of an e-book, which allows people to carry one device and access multiple titles in the palm of their hands. This is another factor of the gradually dying printed book. The demand for libraries and librarians has dropped to the point of letting some of these employees go, causing them unemployment. Only time will tell when books will become extinguished by the internet, e-books, or apathy.

People with talent in wording sentences and creating descriptive images for readers are some of the best authors in history. An author's job, other than maintaining a reader's interest, is to create an eventful, climactic plot and mold the characters to respond as realistic as possible so that the reader can connect on a personal level. These imaginary people can also teach us about relationships, whether involving family, friends, employment, or religion. Dating relations are included in many, if not all, novels. The characters can show us the best ways and worst ways to respond to various situations involving one or more of the previous relationships. There are books made for all ages. Obviously, some books are written for a more adult, mature audience while others are composed for a younger, inexperienced audience. Different genres reach out to multiple types of people, although I think everyone should not read within just one or two main genres they enjoy. People should reach out of their comfort zone and read something they would not normally choose. Books are great for any occasion; educational, religious, or just pleasurable reading. Books can be found almost anywhere: libraries, bookstores, schools, and yard sales.

One of the best things I love about books is what I personally call the "new book" smell. The best way I can describe this scent is, well, a newly printed book. The pages are new, unstained and not crinkled. The texture of each page is thin and smooth. The ink is fresh and not smudged. I love flipping through all of the pages at once and letting the scent waft up into my eager nose. Inhaling, it fills my lungs and as I exhale, a smile stretches from ear to ear, and I suddenly feel relaxed and peaceful. The hardcover binding is unworn. The story untold rests in my hands as my mind races - and my heart beats - with anticipation to begin the journey. The register beeps and it's finally in my possession. The feeling of owning something so unique and exciting consumes me every time I purchase a new book.

Over the course of my life involving books, I have learned many things about myself, my past, my present, my future, and about the books themselves. I have discovered that books can educate people. Books can humor us. They can reach people emotionally. They can help people. They can be inspirational. They can pry open imagination. They can be inquisitional. They can calm people. They can open minds and install tolerance. Books can show people how others have lived and what others have experienced. Books can project creativity and information. Books can change people. Books have created me. Books are revolutionary.

schoolwork sucks; but next semester seems promising!

Math kicked my ass yesterday.

It was RIDICULOUS!

Like seriously... I spent about 14 hours straight doing work and quizzes for my class.

Not because i had a lot to catch up on, but because IT WAS SOOO MUCH WORK!

I am still exhausted from it.

I have class for it later today,

a little something for work,

and another class.

During the gaps in between each,

I will be working on my essay.

I'm choosing a Shakespearian sonnet; because it's just something I would choose to write about.

Unfortunately, there's like... 154 sonnets. To read and choose one.

Although, I think I might take a section from Passionate Pilgrim. I know which one already, so maybe if I just start writing it, it will just happen, like how I usually write.

We'll probably get a new essay on Thursday...

And so second semester sneaks up on our asses fairly quickly.

I FINALLY choose how my schedule shall be then, hopefully every class is open so it follows through. I like the layout I threw together.

I wish I could post more, like the consistency I had when I first started this blog.

Everything's just getting hectic around here.

Literally 1 month left.

one month at this time.... give or take a few days... I will be home.

In MY bed.

I am getting so excited.

I don't care if we zoom past Thanksgiving.

I just want Christmas.

And family.

And friends.

And relaxation.

And noooooooo stress.

Just me, my family, my friends, my music, my books, and my writing.

this week

is Mental Breakdown Week.

Starting tomorrow, for me.

Or should I say, today?

I hate math.