Was to speak with you.
It happened so
Out of the blue.
Cave I have you?
Is it my turn yet?
Is it my turn again?
Seconds equal days.
Days equal years.
It's winter now.
Two seasons.
Two seasons
And I have
Tried to learn
How to deal
With your absence.
With your evaporation.
Winter brings its
Cold sickness.
Everyday, my heart
Beats harder to
Maintain my body
Heat, although I
Know it still beats
For
You.
It has for almost a year.
Winter brings rain.
Rain brings puddles.
I sit with
Black Warrior and
Confess
My
Love.
The wind blows continuously,
Sending shivers throughout
My coated body.
My hand freezes to my pen
That documents my thoughts.
Hopes.
Wishes.
Dreams.
Prayers.
I scream your name aloud.
Alone.
And you never hear,
Never listen.
You're too far gone.
I'm losing you.
I've lost you.
It's almost gotten
To the point where
I don't want to live.
I don't want to live.
I know this thought
Is one of few that I
Will not, nor cannot,
Will not, nor cannot,
Act upon, but that
Does not mean that it is not there.
Seems similar to my
Love for you.
My feet
Dangle from the seat,
In which I sit,
Skimming the puddle beneath me.
Gas lamps light the area
Surrounding us, all the while
Permitting me to transfer
Ideas to ink.
I am a tree;
Memories are leaves.
Leaves break away from trees.
They turn and flutter in the wind
As the gravitational pull lures them to the ground.
More and more occurrence.
Faster and faster pulled.
They fade away
From where they came from.
Eventually, a tree
Becomes
Bare
And
So
Will
Be
I.
Our memories have kept me going
But as the leaves fall,
My drive and will to try
Dies.
I've attempted
Letting go.
Moving on.
Flying free.
But both of us know it is
Not what I want.
Nor you.
If it ever seems like
I've forgotten you,
Written you off,
Lost everything I've felt for you...
I know for a fact
That
The moment I see you face
Again, It will all flood back
And it will
be me, standing
There
In awe,
Taking it all in,
Like watching a
Film rewind from
End to beginning.
Leaves will ascend back to the trees
Such as the ascension of memories to me.
And they will exist.
Like I.
Like you.
Like us.
Together.
As we were
A year ago.
I may act
As I move on
And try to live my life,
Without you,
Waiting.
But my love for you
Will
Never
Cease.
In the mean time,
I want a relationship.
I want someone.
I want love.
I do not know if it is
You or someone else.
Since our separation,
Dreams startle me.
Am I wet from the weather?
No.
Like rain pouring from the sky,
Tears descend from
My red swollen eyes.
It's nothing makeup and
A fake smile can't fix.
As I write about us tonight,
Cars crash in front of me.
Police and paramedics flood
The intersection.
The air suddenly becomes colder.
My breaths become deeper.
My heart beat increases.
My hand flies across the page.
Raindrops splash
Upon my notebook.
Sirens ring.
Cars speed.
Everything is
Whirring by.
Humming.
Rushing
Rushing.
Rushing!
Booming!
Flashing!
And then...
Everything bustling
Around me
Abruptly clicks into slow motion.
Silence overwhelms the situation.
Eventually everything
Halts.
Freezes.
Pauses.
In mid air.
I know what I
Read in Dan's words
Today, but I just
Couldn't leave.
Couldn't stop.
Everything I've
Had to say,
Needed to day,
Wanted to say
Desperately called
For an outlet instead.
Just like the question
You asked me,
You are the reason I write.
Without you,
My words,
And thoughts,
Would be
Meaningless.
Powerless.
Deflated.
Even in your
Inexistence in my life,
You still ignite my
Soul. You
Ignite my passion for
Writing.
I know I do the same for you.
Please; Write me something
With beauty.
With love.
Like you used to.
Just to reassure me
And my mind
That it isn't just
Me, myself, and I
Thinking this way.
I walk across
This campus, daily,
With nothing.
You can't leave
Me waiting all alone.
I need you.
I want you.
I love you.
I'm screaming out for you.
I'm reaching out for you.
But you
Don't hear.
Don't listen.
Or don't care.
This depresses me.
Don't allow
Our death now.
You were like home to me.
The number of falling
Leaves increase, carrying
Memories
With them
Without me.
In the blink of an eye,
In the beat of a heart,
I
Become
Invisible.
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